


Strange Effect

by lauze



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Drunk Sex, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Implied Nandor/Laszlo, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, Twilight reference, drug blood, kinda silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:55:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24771211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauze/pseuds/lauze
Summary: “I can’t... believe… this is happening,” Guillermo murmured between gasps as his master pressed a line of cool kisses up the side of his neck. They were sitting beside each other on the sofa in the living room (an inappropriate name), one of Guillermo’s legs draped over Nandor’s, whose hand was greedily clutching at his inner thigh.To celebrate Nadja’s birthday, they’d spent the evening at a few different clubs, the vampires finding a stag do to feast upon and giving Guillermo permission to drink as many cocktails as he’d liked. Upon returning home, Nadja and Laszlo had of course announced that they were going upstairs to make love for the rest of the night, leaving Guillermo alone with a very horny vampire.
Relationships: Guillermo/Nandor the Relentless (What We Do in the Shadows TV)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 230





	Strange Effect

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this on and off for a couple of weeks and wasn't sure whether I'd post, but ... here it is! The silly Twilight reference was inspired by Cuspid by shocked_into_shame (please go and read it if you haven't already!)

“I can’t... believe… this is happening,” Guillermo murmured between gasps as his master pressed a line of cool kisses up the side of his neck. They were sitting beside each other on the sofa in the living room (an inappropriate name), one of Guillermo’s legs draped over Nandor’s, whose hand was greedily clutching at his inner thigh.

To celebrate Nadja’s birthday, they’d spent the evening at a few different clubs, the vampires finding a stag do to feast upon and giving Guillermo permission to drink as many cocktails as he’d liked. Upon returning home, Nadja and Laszlo had of course announced that they were going upstairs to make love for the rest of the night, leaving Guillermo alone with a very horny vampire.

“Shut up, Guillermo,” he growled against his skin before lifting his head to meet his lips again. Apart from the whimper that unintentionally escaped the back of his throat, Guillermo did exactly that, at such a level of tipsiness that he was able to give into him without worrying too much about where this was going or what it even meant. He’d been longing for this for years, and although the circumstances weren’t exactly what he’d always imagined, he was willing to please his master in any way he desired. 

Eager for more, Nandor shifted to press closer against him, pushing him back against the sofa without ever breaking the fervent kiss. Guillermo could feel the evidence of his master’s arousal pressed against his thigh, and combined with the weight of his broad body and the sensation of his tongue sliding against his, he quickly found himself in the same state. 

With his familiar pinned beneath him, Nandor began rocking his hips against his, and as Guillermo reacted by throwing his head back against the arm of the sofa, baring his gorgeous neck to him, he couldn’t resist leaning down to press his mouth against it. He was intoxicated by the smell of his sweet, virgin blood, tracing his tongue over his jugular vein as he grinded their erections together, the layers of clothing between them providing a dizzying amount of friction. 

“Mm..master. That feels…” Guillermo was mumbling, unable to string a coherent thought together, let alone sentence. He was lost in a daze of arousal and alcohol, barely even registering the dangers of the predator now grazing his teeth against his neck. He lifted his hips in time with his master’s rocking, allowing one of his hands to slide up to the nape of his neck and become entangled with his thick, silky hair. 

It was as if Guillermo’s quickened pulse was spurring the vampire on, his eyes slipping closed and one of his hands gripping the other man’s soft jawline to keep his head back. His teeth scraped his skin and he released a low moan as Guillermo tightened his grip on his hair, overwhelmed by the intensity of his desire for him. It would be so easy to just bite into him and have a taste. To allow the warm liquid to pool into his mouth whilst he thrust into him, his senses in overload.

His thoughts eventually seemed to catch up with him and in a split second, the vampire had flung himself to the opposite end of the sofa, grumbling to himself, “fucking shit.” He was desperate to just rip his clothes off and have his way with him but equally scared by how much he wanted to hurt him. Even in his drunken state, the latter emotion seemed to win out, hence why he covered his erection with his cape and continued, “you are so… _ugh_. This is not a good idea, Guillermo. You are making me feel so… You just smell _so_ fucking good.”

What he hadn’t expected was for Guillermo to react with an eruption of drunken giggles. Nandor snapped his head towards him and watched through narrowed eyes as his familiar tried to calm himself down.

“What are you laughing at? You have no idea how this feels, Guillermo; it isn’t funny!”

“I’m sorry, master. It’s just…” He had to stop to laugh some more at Nandor’s dishevelled hair and flustered expression, wiping away a stray tear before continuing, “it’s like in Twilight when Edward’s too scared to fuck Bella.”

“What?! No, this is nothing like bloody Twilight! This is like… This is like when Nadja slept with that human man and accidentally cut off his head!”

“Are you afraid you won’t be able to control your animalistic urges, master?”

Guillermo couldn’t help it. Now that Nandor had confirmed how much he wanted him, he was feeling a little brave, determined to finally get what he’d wanted after so many years of fantasising. He wasn’t deterred by his master’s bloodlust at all; it was difficult to see him as a threat after discovering how quick his reactions naturally were when dealing with vampires. 

“I trust you,” he told him, finally sitting up so that he could scoot over to him, taking a deep breath before boldly reaching inside his cape to cup his master’s prominent erection. Nandor reacted with a soft gasp, his head rolling to the side slightly as he was gently squeezed. “Anyway, you should be the one scared of me. How many vampires do you think these hands have killed?”

“Eugh. You are ruining the mood, Guillermo. But, ok, you have made your point.”

“I am? I could always stop, if—”

“Don’t you dare.”

Satisfied, Guillermo continued stroking him through his clothing, his mouth watering at the thought of what he would look like once he was finally bared to him. Unable to wait any longer, he began to undo his master’s thick leather belt, although considering the alcohol still in his system, he fumbled with the fastenings and Nandor eventually pushed his hand away with an impatient sigh. 

“Fucking guy. Lie over there again,” he said, getting up to apparently go and fetch something. Guillermo did as he was told but couldn’t keep his eyes off his master in the process. 

From thoroughly cleaning the house every day, Guillermo had learnt that Laszlo kept a bottle of lube in almost every room (the horny bastard). He knew all of his ‘secret’ hiding places, but he raised his eyebrows when Nandor located the bottle immediately, taking less than five seconds since he was so eager to speed things along. He didn’t want to ask. 

Since his nerves were beginning to catch up with him, he instead uttered, “I’ve never done this before.”

“No need to state the obvious, Guillermo,” Nandor answered, his usually silky tone a little slurred, making his accent sound even sillier. He finally removed his belt before unbuttoning his trousers and watching his familiar’s reaction as he freed his impressive erection. “We can just use our hands tonight.”

Guillermo nodded dumbly, focusing his gaze upon where Nandor was now lightly stroking himself and trying not to think too much about the implications of the word ‘tonight’. His face was almost as red as the sofa he was sprawled across, and he released a shaky breath when his master smirked at him and said, “your turn.”

By the time that he’d taken his own cock out, Nandor was on top of him again, squirting some lube onto his hand before aligning their erections and pressing them together in his large hand. They moaned in tandem at the contact, their difference in body temperature only amplifying the sensation of Nandor working his slickened fist around their cocks with steady strokes. 

“You’re so big, master,” Guillermo gasped after glancing down between their bellies at the intimate sight of their flushed shafts being squeezed together. He barely recognised his own voice due to his minimal amount of sexual experience, but it felt so thrilling to finally be releasing all the years’ worth of pent up tension. God, he needed this so badly. “Is… is that a vampire thing?”

“Just a Nandor thing,” he answered, flashing him a toothy grin before leaning down to initiate another deep kiss. As they explored each other’s mouths with their tongues, the vampire gradually increased the speed of his stroking, the wet sound of lube accompanying the muffled moans that were occasionally escaping them. With Nandor’s cape draped over them, it was as if they were in a world of their own, Guillermo savouring every single second as red hot pleasure built between them.

“Stroke me,” Nandor murmured against his lips, having let go of his own cock so that he could focus his touch on Guillermo. He was rubbing his swollen head with quick flicks of his wrist, his familiar reacting with a series of soft whimpers, overwhelmed by the glorious sensation and stifling heat between them. Although he was a little nervous about reciprocating the handjob, he followed his order, fitting his hand into the tight space between then and wrapping his fingers around his master’s erection. Nandor felt hot and heavy in his hand, almost intimidatingly huge, but that didn’t stop Guillermo from fantasising about what it would feel like inside him, if ever that day came. 

“Fuuuck. Very good, Guillermo,” Nandor drawled as his familiar began to copy his movements and pace. Needy and impatient, he rutted into his fist, the added pleasure prompting him to release a particularly loud moan before pressing his cool face into the crook of his neck. Fortunately, the pure and utter bliss he was experiencing was enough to distract him from any urge to drink his blood, his only thoughts being how thrilled he was that they were doing this and how desperately he wanted to cum.

“M-Master… I’m getting so close,” Guillermo gasped, once again losing his free hand in the vampire’s hair and tugging at his locks as they increased the pace. 

Nandor lifted his head so that he could see his familiar’s gorgeous facial expressions, his darkened gaze so intense that Guillermo thought he might melt into the sofa. He was holding himself up with his free arm, strands of his hair tickling the other man’s face as they edged each other closer and closer to climax. 

“Cum for me, Guillermo,” he uttered in a sensuously low register, tightening his fist around him and gasping sharply when his familiar returned the favour. His body seemed to comply immediately, Guillermo throwing his head back in ecstasy as he was tipped over the edge, moaning Nandor’s name despite the scolding he’d usually get for addressing him improperly. 

His master stroked him through it as he spilt all over his hand and cardigan, watching him come undone beneath him and hearing such beautiful sounds having him hurtling towards his own orgasm. A string of slurred profanities left his lips as he joined him in sweet release, his eyes fluttering closed as he contributed towards the sticky mess between them.

Once their orgasms had faded into the most wonderful afterglows, the two stared back at each other with flushed faces and ragged breaths, Nandor having to resist the urge to collapse against him as he was feeling a little drowsy by now, almost light-headed from the intensity of his climax. After briefly wiping his hand against Guillermo’s front, he finally shifted off him, sitting by his feet with his head flopped back against the sofa, although he was watching him with a daft smile on his face.

Guillermo was still stunned, taking the time to catch his breath before sitting up a little and taking in the mess they’d made. Fuck, this was an image he wanted to savour forever, Nandor lazily tucking himself back into his trousers with his hair messed up and gaze never leaving him. He almost wanted to laugh at the absurdity of all this. 

“Your heart is beating so fast, Guillermo,” Nandor uttered, although he seemed to be struggling to keep his eyes open, almost as if the sound was lulling him to sleep. It was still a couple of hours before sunrise, but he obviously needed an early night (or an early day), so Guillermo forced himself up, making himself decent and peeling his cardigan off to be washed tomorrow. He was dreading the next evening since there was a chance that Nandor would pretend this hadn’t even happened, but as he picked his master’s belt off the floor and hid the lube away, he was relieved to hear him murmur, “and your blood still smells so virginal. Perhaps we should change that another time, yes?” 


End file.
